Monday, October 17

In Memoriam

I cannot believe it has been 10 years since my older brother, Solomon Wesley Belton, passed away in a car accident. It seems I've commemorated his death each year with a reading of this poem I wrote many years ago, a few weeks following his untimely death. Since I do not plan on doing any spontaneous readings (although I'm tempted to sit-in on the Occupy Wall Street protests when I'm back in New York in a few days...so perhaps I will share it then). I miss you big bro. And wish that you were still here to share in all the wonders of life with me. 

In Memory of Solomon Wesley

Certain memories wait for their view
            shifting, cross glass-encumbered street:
     on bench beside bus stop, asleep on southbound 9, a train
     crossing midwest, en route to san francisco
            hearing click-click, click of roller coaster as it ascends
     on ferris-wheel, in parking lot, summertime basement party
     hot-dog stand, buying tickets, the alley behind st theresa’s
            the familiar tree house

Certain memories wait
     beyond the sublet I rent to keep myself from spacing:
            scattering out beyond sulphuric spheres that envelop god’s earth
     beyond effect & artifice, beyond the park where children are trained
     to dangle, beyond the songs sang at grandmother’s burial, & still further
            scattering, beyond fenestra’s dressing bedroom, beyond hudson, jersey-skyline
     or in descent, beneath gasoline puddle reflecting sun’s light, beneath warm blankets
     darkness, crouched, beneath wandering twilight:

                        I see at night / think better in the pitch / and feel better
                        About you leaving in my dreams / where we are still
                        Chasing the ice cream truck / for blocks at a time
                        To obtain enough penny-candy / to last us until morning

                        Enough tootsie rolls & blow pops
                        Enough slushes & ice cream
                        Sandwiches & sodas & poe-ta-doe chips
                        Enough oatmeal pies & jellybeans

Certain memories wait for their view
            spastic, of me and you strutting through old neighborhoods
      telling what it was to hold, hush, brush & make delight for first time, or fifth
      after waiting, pushing for it, beneath stairs, passenger seat pushed back, all-night
            to a woman, a man, anyone, everyone, we met our first weeks at college

Certain memories are left waiting for a better view of now:
            behind women adorned
                                            knotted scarves & colored hats
            behind leaves with faces
                                            dimpled flesh beneath the rain
            beneath strings of honk & horn & scream
                                            inquiring after accident ahead
            beneath muddled-crumplings
                                            soon mush against the pavement
            behind wheel & steel & windshield
until you
                                                                                flew from the scene.

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